Committing To Life

Committing, Celebrating and Growing through Life

Finding The Power to Love Ourselves Enough To Speak and Share


We don’t speak. Why is that?

We sweep everything under the rug, we mask our feelings and we conceal who we really are. Why is that? What sparked this thought in my mind was a poem I heard last year. How we are a world that chooses not to express or acknowledge but to go along living ACTING as if we are oblivious to everything.

After pondering over this I decided to look at myself, because to understand human nature we can only begin by analysing that which we know most accurately which is: Self. I am an introvert, and have always been one. However, I am more of an introvert now than when I was say, 5 years ago. What changed this? Simply put betrayal and let-downs cause us to plunge into a safety net which is “distance”. We distance ourselves. I know that that is exactly why I have become more of an “inward” person. There is something terrible that happens when people betray you but more vicious when people who you brought into the most inner caves of your heart and life turn around and slice through your soul leaving painful gashes that refuse to heal. Immediately then, one builds up walls and we step into a state of survival. That is how simple nature is; from Darwin’s Theory of “natural selection” we see that it is an integral seed buried in all of us. We simply want to survive and will adopt whatever mechanisms seem most effective for this.

And yet, what makes it tougher is that people will try and dig you out of your safety because they feel like they are losing you or they do not know you enough. Truth is we do not talk because our words fall on ears that are plastered with ignorance and selfish motives most of the time. I know I’m not the only one that has heard the saying: “Do not tell people your problems. 80% are curious and 20% are glad you have them”. I might be a few words off but the idea is essentially the same. I am not a cynic and I totally love life and people but we simply cannot ignore reality. One could say then, that I am a realist with high hopes. How then do we move from a state of fear into a state of being comfortable enough to be who we are with no inhibitions?

The first problem of being a selfish and judgemental people is that we do not even love and appreciate ourselves. We are unhappy with who we are and so fearful of what we could or could not become that we let this filter into how we treat others. And so, we wait to spot a weakness in the next person so we may maximise on it and ignore our own insecurities. If we can accept ourselves, faults and all, we can accept the next person and celebrate their strengths without feeling in danger of being outshone. The second problem that we simply must overcome is that living a life that is fenced with thick brick walls and electric fencing will not only shut out the world but it will shut out our potential as well. Pain and disappointment are inevitable factors of life and whether you hide behind a boulder or live freely or carelessly, you will go through it. So then, we need to embrace failure and learn from pain, emerging though, as wiser and stronger creatures that can overcome even greater obstacles. Emerging as a person who knows himself/herself better. I too, am on this journey of regeneration and growth, so let’s all try a bit harder.

If we can first love, accept and know who we are; Loving, accepting and knowing the next person can be that easier.

Let’s have a great week! 🙂

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: Find and love yourself, flaws and all.

QUOTE: “The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it” – Thucydides (Greek Historian & Author

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Author: Candice Mncwabe

Thinker, feeler, Writer and aspiring healer. I am a slave to comfort and bliss, and believe that our dreams are our soft pillows when the world is too harsh. I sleigh dragons in my sleep and fight battles when I am awake. I believe in the power that resides in every human being and that if we just empower and strengthen eachother - we can build powerful nations of phenomenal people. Life is Amazing. Let's commit to it. :)

3 thoughts on “Finding The Power to Love Ourselves Enough To Speak and Share

  1. Mmmmm..absolutely powerful message there, indeed the greatest love of all is to love yourself, because if you can accept yourself flaws and all, then it will be easier to love and accept the next person. Sometimes we come accross issues during relationships that stem from the mere fact that inwardly we are far too insecure in ourselves, thus we suffer a low-self esteem, which causes us to not value ourselves as we ought to. When we do not value ourselves we do not think we are Worthy of recieving pure, unconditional true love. Because we do not love and accept ourselves as we are, we fail to accept and embrace that love that comes from someone else. to conclude if you are able to love yourself you will be able to let your guard down and be loved by another, with no fear. It is such a crucial thing, because if you have no value in yourself, you will miss out on love, you will fear it, because you do not have it within yourself. I myself am currently on that journey which will take me to beautiful place of self love and acceptance.

  2. love should begin from deep within and then spread it out to the outer world. but it should be so very much highly concentrated from deep within. so that when it all fails in the outside world , it is still rich and deep in us.

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