Committing To Life

Committing, Celebrating and Growing through Life


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Are You Part Of Someone Else’s Strategy?

I love how we make excuses. I love how we complain about our current state of life but make zero changes in our daily routines because ultimately, if we desire change then we should start making changes in the way we act. They say “stupidity is repeating the same action, expecting a different result.” – how many of us are any wiser?

I had a conversation, a couple of days ago, with a partner of a colleague at a social event we had. He asked me a question I tend to avoid a lot of times. He asked me this: “What is stopping you from implementing any of your plans, dreams or business ideas?” My answer was simple: “I am lazy and I am scared.” Now I’m not usually that honest, I tend to delve into detailed explanations as a writer but I guess we have the glass of wine I had to thank for my transparency that evening.

I have always thought to myself: “I will do X when I have more cash flow and more experience” ; “I will complete Y when I have a car” ; “I will start planning Z when I have more time.” All these excuses being absolute cowardly ways of escaping any way in which I can work towards my dreams.

When I talk about dreams I’m talking about the aspirations beyond the normal mundane drone of every day life. To some people the daily mundane is the dream, no offence (I hope I am far from right on that front) but to some people the dream stems beyond that to silent moments spent pondering over the ultimate life in our solitude.

So I love how we make excuses, how we have majestic dreams and yet ‘complement’ them with below-average decisions and actions. You may not have enough “capital” yet to put into your business but if a potential investor walked up to you with enough capital would you have your business plan accurately drafted and researched? You may not have the ‘time’ to put work into your passion/hobby/initiative but if you could substitute 2 hours spent infront of the television with 2 hours of research and practice would it not make a difference & sharpen your strategy?

I know it is easy to say, I know because it is a battle I too am fighting right now but it can be done

Alvin Toffler said: “If you do not have a strategy, you will be part of someone else’s strategy.” I respect this man a lot so I do take his words seriously, especially because they are so true. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wake up at 40 and realize I spent a good part of my best years to thrive, being part of someone else’s strategy.

Hope you’re having a great week and that this has caused you to ponder over your dreams and act on them a little.

Quote: “Hope is not a strategy.” – Timothy Wilson

Stay Committed.

πŸ™‚


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Failure is not Fatal

I knew I had grown the day I realized that failure didn’t mean the end, I knew I had learned a lot when I understood that success ultimately separates quitters from those who persevere. One of my biggest fears used to be failing and I would flinch at the thought of being embarrassed by not being “good” at something.

As I grew in this Life thing, I realized that sulking from failure ultimately holds you back. That’s what the drawing board is there for, its there for you to go back to and improve, coach and re-design yourself and your plans when things don’t pan out as expected. The worst thing you could do would be to stop trying and ultimately hold yourself back from everything you deserve and are capable of.

A week ago on 16 May I had my driving test which I was unbelievably nervous about (that fear of failure is still there). It did not go well, 4 minutes into it my legs were shaking so badly and I was so scared that I went forward instead of back. Long story short, I swallowed my pride and scolded at my tears to “please stay out of this one!” I had to book for another test date and my eyes had to be clear for the eye test. Much to my delight and fear (simultaneously) I got a test date for the following week. So here I was granted a second chance to clear my head, dismiss the fear and decide to succeed – fast.

In that whirlwind of emotions that I was currently immersed in, I decided that should it go well I would write about failure in my next blog post. So here I was with one week to go to my test date knowing that 1) I need to pass and get a licence, I do need a car of my own don’t I? and 2) if I don’t pass then I’ve ruined my next blog post. Talk about pressure!

Well here I am posting about rising from failure so 24 May was a very happy afternoon for me.

I could not get my licence in high school because my mother couldn’t afford to pay for my lessons, so I spent the last couple of years trying to sort out my own finances to get it. It (the licence) always being last on my priority list because food & survival was at the top.

It helps that its something that we HAVE to have (unless you’re really a fan of frustration & taxis). But what about the things we can delay for years? How about we apply the same sense of urgency to everything we would like to achieve? Whatever it is that is a mission to achieve and accomplish for you right now: take it back to the drawing board, if its worth it and you want it you’ll find a way.

Whether its your exams (the season has arrived), a project, a work-related initiative, a new job, a relationship that is crumbling, a weight-loss goal and whatever else you are faced with right now that had failed or is threatening to fail: take it and yourself back to the drawing back. Work, improve, research, counsel with those wiser than you & most importantly persevere.

Wishing you all a fantastic week.

Stay committed & if you have a great experience to share re. Rising above failure I’d love to hear about & I know someone else there needs it too.

πŸ™‚


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Hard Hearts & Soft Minds

Firstly, I do apologize for the inconsistency in my posts & I appreciate every one who has subscribed to my blog πŸ˜€ thank you, receiving that email every time you press “follow” makes me want to write every day & make a difference in some way in your hearts/minds.

I really value routine and order but applying it here, I’d have to suppress an idea when it wants to be born and have to draft it & stare at it for days till I’m “allowed” to post it or simply post something mundane because I HAVE to post something. So, there’s a time & place for rules and order, and unfortunately my blog is linked to my thoughts so really, order cannot reside here. πŸ™‚

I posted a discussion last year on healing titled: Becoming That Which We Have Killed. Basically I discussed what happens when we don’t forgive the monsters we conquer. I want to discuss again, another result of not forgiving ourselves and those that we disagree with on our life path. “Disagreement”, covering a multitude of sins such as “betrayal”, “judgment”, “hurt” and their cousins…

There is a bitter residue that pain leaves. It leaves resentment, it leaves scars. It leaves a lot of ugly slime that needs to be cleaned away. The predicament always arises when one tries to figure out ‘how’ to clean up the mess life has made of you. So quite often, we will cover it up with a pretty carpet and pretend that somehow science will allow it to vanish through reverse osmosis (or some beautiful reaction) back into the ground.

The result though is usually quite far from that. We will either become what we are trying to fight off or we will simply carry the hurt and become enslaved to it and it will change us.

Something that will surely shock anyone who has read half of my blog posts, tweets, facebook updates is that I too, struggle with cleaning up the mess. So even though I seem quite ‘clued-up’ on the process: I internalize a lot of things. So that’s been my tiny project lately: an internal clean up because at some really naΓ―ve point in my life I decided that the minute I am hurt I will become hard. I thought: I will harden my heart & dismiss every “weak emotion” that even dares to come up. Not a smart theory, Socrates should’ve warned me about this in one of his theories.

So, in the process all that happens is that your brain becomes soft. As you harden your heart & build concrete walls around your soul, you leave your mind barren & confused because it is really unnatural. It relates quite closely to the phrase: “hurt people hurt people.”

Hurt people, hurt other people because they are weak. They have not cleaned up the mess in their hearts & so they walk around with false bravado. It really is a scary philosophy that we follow as human beings: celebrating steel-walls of human beings & labeling them as ‘strong’ and, mocking the fragile people that DARE to even shed a tear, when the latter are ultimately the strongest of our Human species.

So what does one have to do: Confront the hurt. Stand up to the pain. Release the resentment & be real with yourself. Soften your heart & reinforce your mind because ultimately, strength is seen through humility and forgiveness. Also, be gentle on yourself because it takes time but also be firm because it shouldn’t turn into a pity party.

The strongest people that I have come across in life are the one’s with the most forgiving and beautiful hearts: πŸ™‚ and they know who they are, one is my gorgeous friend who has a blog titled “Daughter of A King” you will find it in my “blogs I follow” section. If you’re a single mom or even just a woman in need of guidance on forgiving & healing through God’s word, I’d urge you to read it.

I learn so much from the graceful people that are around me. I’m grateful for that.

QUOTE: “The stronger you become, the gentler you will be.”

Life is Amazing,Stay Committed.

πŸ™‚

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Change: Growing through it

I’ve decided that I will start sharing the inspiring pictures/quotes that I come across (whether you make them your avatar/wallpaper – place them anywhere where you’re bound to see them constantly throughout the day) and you may share them with people that might need them. I got this one from (@Addictd2Success)

Socrates is definitely my favorite philosopher. In grade 9 (high school) I decided that I wanted to grow up & become a philosopher. That did not really pan out but I am constantly learning from Socrates, Plato & the likes. There is a wealth of wisdom to be gained from the great late thinkers of the world. Don’t make it just something ‘fun’ to read: apply it to your life.

Don’t fight the old. Embrace the new and grow through it. Change is inevitable.

Have a great week ahead.

πŸ™‚
Stay Committed.

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Nurturing Networks

If you had told me about the importance of networks 4 years ago I would’ve frowned. Perhaps even pouted, flicked my hair & told you that you were absurd.

No, I was not ‘stuck up’ or overly prudent back in my much younger days, I was just so sure of what and who I am. I really believed that all that I needed to make it in life was within. (You may chuckle, I was much more naΓ―ve then than I am now) Once again, I learned how far I was from the truth two and a half years ago during my gap year which I took after two daunting years of Engineering.

What I have learned between that gap year and now (as a working lady & a student) is that we really are not islands as individuals. We form an intricate web of individuals that can build and guide one another. And, if we are not directly building and guiding the next person, we are surely a resourceful link to a well of wisdom that will enrich that person.

Timothy Wilson (@TimothyWilson) said: “If you don’t want to be a leader learn to be a link, you can connect people correctly with positive experiences that will impact them.” He tweeted that a day ago & it really resonated with my belief that there is something amazing in each person: whether you have an amazing story to tell, a wealth of knowledge to share, strength to guide or simply a link to positive people and experiences: you matter. And, if you matter then the next person does too. Value.

I could go in depth about how I have seen the value of networking & nurturing relationships but that in itself, would be a separate testimony. I never really bothered with nurturing relationships or giving people a chance to enter into what I call “my sacred private space”, until I learned that I am not an island.

An awesome article that I read this evening on the forbes website (one of many, as I have become addicted to their informative articles) really resonated with me as a young woman trying to establish her career and life. It is so important that we learn to lay down a solid foundation and have direction. It is even more important to align ourselves with like-minded people and ‘wiser’ people that can guide us.

The article can be found on this link: http://t.co/uiAvj3acM9 and it was the catalyst of this post.

Sure, its a Saturday evening in South Africa and I am having a ‘moment’ about career advice.

Robert Kiyosaki said: “What you do in your spare time defines your level of success. It’s late on a Sunday night and I’m looking at deals. What are you doing?”

So I guess my love for writing, people and sharing wisdom on how we can build and commit to our lives better is that important to me. What’s yours? Respect your passion & be a great link. Commit to what you want & remember that life is amazing, the power to unleash that lies in your hands & don’t forget that you’re part of a huge network of like-minded individuals.

Have a great weekend.
πŸ™‚

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The One’s That Birthed Us

There is always a stage in a female’s life where she clashes with her mother. Where one young female stands up to another much older female & demands to be released from her firm grasp; demands to be understood; demands to be heard. Its inevitable and for a fraction of our lives we see the woman that birthed us as a burden or a hindrance. Its sad (on the surface yes) but beneath that its just one of nature’s turbulences that help us grow.

My mother and I were practically bestfriends (with the occasional fight) for most of my young years. She adored me & I adored her. She provided for me & I returned the favour by excelling at everything I did. It wasn’t until I wanted to break free & pursue my inner passions like writing & art that a wedge began to form between us. I managed to keep the turbulence gentle enough to sustain our relationship till I started university & did Engineering. After my 2nd year I left what wasn’t really my dream. The turbulence got vicious & I was no longer her shining star.

Within all of this I would ask her why she was so hard on me even though I was very responsible (working and studying) and loved her to bits. Her answer was always the same & it still is to this day: “I am hard on you because I know your potential. I am hard on you because I know you can do so much & I want you to become someone I can be proud of.” These words baffled me until I moved from home a year ago & was 100% responsible for the path I am carving. I mentioned in my previous blog post that my mother knows me at my most organic state.

I know each of us has these struggles with our moms, of feeling misunderstood and judged sometimes. The pressure they put on us is simply pressure to transform us into diamonds. πŸ™‚ yes! Sure, they may project their own dreams on us but that’s because they see themselves as well in the glimmer in our eyes. They are strong for us when we are young so we may grow up & be strong for them when they are old. This is a theory I have developed for myself.

It is very easy to terminate a pregnancy or abandon a new born child. Have you looked in the newspaper lately? It takes a numbing of the heart & turning one’s head away from selflessness and love to abandon a life. We should appreciate the women that chose to carry us, birth us, raise us and love us. We should love them with their flaws and appreciate ever sacrifice they have made.

And, to the ones that have lost their moms remember that like energy we are never really destroyed: we simply transformed from one state to another. Souls do live on & they can live within us, the space can be shared. The investments they have made in your life can never be erased & all around us we are surrounded by 2nd and 3rd moms, take heed of phenomenal females who can impart wisdom & love to you.

A gift from me to all females, moms, sisters, friends, moms-to-be: Get yourself a copy of “Women Who Run With The Wolves” by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola EstΓ©s. She too, is an amazing spiritual mother with a wealth of wisdom & healing.

Happy Mother’s Day. You’re all phenomenal.

Stay Committed & have a great week.

πŸ™‚

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