Committing To Life

Committing, Celebrating and Growing through Life

Hard Hearts & Soft Minds

4 Comments

Firstly, I do apologize for the inconsistency in my posts & I appreciate every one who has subscribed to my blog πŸ˜€ thank you, receiving that email every time you press “follow” makes me want to write every day & make a difference in some way in your hearts/minds.

I really value routine and order but applying it here, I’d have to suppress an idea when it wants to be born and have to draft it & stare at it for days till I’m “allowed” to post it or simply post something mundane because I HAVE to post something. So, there’s a time & place for rules and order, and unfortunately my blog is linked to my thoughts so really, order cannot reside here. πŸ™‚

I posted a discussion last year on healing titled: Becoming That Which We Have Killed. Basically I discussed what happens when we don’t forgive the monsters we conquer. I want to discuss again, another result of not forgiving ourselves and those that we disagree with on our life path. “Disagreement”, covering a multitude of sins such as “betrayal”, “judgment”, “hurt” and their cousins…

There is a bitter residue that pain leaves. It leaves resentment, it leaves scars. It leaves a lot of ugly slime that needs to be cleaned away. The predicament always arises when one tries to figure out ‘how’ to clean up the mess life has made of you. So quite often, we will cover it up with a pretty carpet and pretend that somehow science will allow it to vanish through reverse osmosis (or some beautiful reaction) back into the ground.

The result though is usually quite far from that. We will either become what we are trying to fight off or we will simply carry the hurt and become enslaved to it and it will change us.

Something that will surely shock anyone who has read half of my blog posts, tweets, facebook updates is that I too, struggle with cleaning up the mess. So even though I seem quite ‘clued-up’ on the process: I internalize a lot of things. So that’s been my tiny project lately: an internal clean up because at some really naΓ―ve point in my life I decided that the minute I am hurt I will become hard. I thought: I will harden my heart & dismiss every “weak emotion” that even dares to come up. Not a smart theory, Socrates should’ve warned me about this in one of his theories.

So, in the process all that happens is that your brain becomes soft. As you harden your heart & build concrete walls around your soul, you leave your mind barren & confused because it is really unnatural. It relates quite closely to the phrase: “hurt people hurt people.”

Hurt people, hurt other people because they are weak. They have not cleaned up the mess in their hearts & so they walk around with false bravado. It really is a scary philosophy that we follow as human beings: celebrating steel-walls of human beings & labeling them as ‘strong’ and, mocking the fragile people that DARE to even shed a tear, when the latter are ultimately the strongest of our Human species.

So what does one have to do: Confront the hurt. Stand up to the pain. Release the resentment & be real with yourself. Soften your heart & reinforce your mind because ultimately, strength is seen through humility and forgiveness. Also, be gentle on yourself because it takes time but also be firm because it shouldn’t turn into a pity party.

The strongest people that I have come across in life are the one’s with the most forgiving and beautiful hearts: πŸ™‚ and they know who they are, one is my gorgeous friend who has a blog titled “Daughter of A King” you will find it in my “blogs I follow” section. If you’re a single mom or even just a woman in need of guidance on forgiving & healing through God’s word, I’d urge you to read it.

I learn so much from the graceful people that are around me. I’m grateful for that.

QUOTE: “The stronger you become, the gentler you will be.”

Life is Amazing,Stay Committed.

πŸ™‚

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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Author: Candice Mncwabe

Thinker, feeler, Writer and aspiring healer. I am a slave to comfort and bliss, and believe that our dreams are our soft pillows when the world is too harsh. I sleigh dragons in my sleep and fight battles when I am awake. I believe in the power that resides in every human being and that if we just empower and strengthen eachother - we can build powerful nations of phenomenal people. Life is Amazing. Let's commit to it. :)

4 thoughts on “Hard Hearts & Soft Minds

  1. Yeah it’s so easy to want to sweep it under the carpet and appear strong but I’ve learnt that there’s nothing more strengthening than facing the hurt and dealing through it little by little until its all gone. And as you do that, you feel yourself growing and learning from your mistakes and even having the courage to spot where you went wrong in the whole thing and spotting the hurts you could have avoided. It makes you so much wiser, it makes you much more real than you were before and you’ll even be so much better off that it won’t count as a hurt or betrayal but something that was necessary in your journey to make you into who you are meant to be πŸ™‚

    • Pure wisdom. There’s absolutely no way that we can grow if we don’t face every test & run each race we’re given. Its not easy but its worth it,like u said, it just opens your eyes to so much learning & understanding.

  2. I absolutely love this post and agree with it, it takes tremendous strength to forgive, forgiveness is medecine for the soul, and is definately one of the elements in ‘cleaning our mess’ Once again thank you Candy πŸ™‚

  3. It’s a pleasure hun and thank you for your wise words. Its the strongest that forgive, funny how we have been conditioned to think otherwise. Glad it resonates with you. πŸ™‚

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