Committing To Life

Committing, Celebrating and Growing through Life


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Ode to The Women

Phoenix.
She rose from battered bones and discarded dreams.
Dusted the sorrow from her cheeks and smoothed down the grooves the tears had set.
Set in her soul.
The pain had created so much destruction her self-worth caved in.

The Book says we were created perfect in his image but this construction gives in so easily to destruction.
Marred by failure: Hope escapes and defies all positive instruction.
But somehow something kept her motivated even though her heart was blacklisted and she found herself undeserving of any love and devotion.

A Single mother who did not even think about terminating the seed that began to grow within her even though she knew she couldn’t build a garden lush enough to nurture it.

***********************************************************************

In light of National Women’s Day 9 August 2013 (In South Africa) and to celebrate our National Women’s month I felt the need to share an excerpt from a poem I wrote about my mother titled The Phoenix. We all know the popular tale of the phoenix that burned down to ashes but instead of succumbing to destruction it was reborn, renewed and rose even more splendid than before. The poem was inspired by my mother but ultimately I see the story reflected in a lot of women’s eyes.

I cannot even begin to describe just how many phenomenal women I have met and come across. The sad thing is sometimes we forget just how incredible we are, we forget the battles we have fought and we are left maimed and forget the mountains we have actually climbed. And so, I constantly ask myself what makes us believe that we are so weak when ultimately we are so strong and unbelievably resilient? This time we have to look for the solution within, this time I really think we ought to turn the hand around and point at our chests.

We live in a world where a woman has become so objectified you tend to wonder if we even remember that we have intelligent minds, beautiful hearts (though at times, they may be bruised ) and deep mystical souls. It’s a debate I have had in my mind for a while and somehow I always come back to how women have allowed themselves to become objectified. Sure, appearance is an awesome thing and I think the way you maintain yourself is a reflection of just how much respect and love you have for yourself but what we look like is not all who we are. I may sound like a feminist right now but we have to refuse to be bottled in to nothing but pretty pictures. I know single mothers (young and old), business women who created empires from their own mental capacity and toil, young women who grew up in tarnished homes but somehow grew up to become so beautiful and intelligent, women who have been abused who had the strength to walk away and so many more types of women who serve as shining examples of just how incredible we are. Why do we forget?

And so, after being objectified and labelled by the other sex they write books FOR US on how to live as women. What do we do? We flock to Amazon.com, CNA, Exclusive Books etc. because we hold so little faith in our inherent femininity and wisdom that we continue to seek approval from the outside world instead of consulting with the inside and living honestly with our values. Are we doing it for ourselves or to somehow be “accepted”? Introspection time ladies.

There is so much more to you than you give yourself credit for. Every now and then just look back at all your achievements and all the destruction/failure you have risen from. Do not succumb to other people’s definition of who you are or who you should be – the best person who can define you is yourself. You are not just beautiful, but you are all intelligent, resilient, strong-willed and capable of building not just strong families but massive empires too.

It’s time we take responsibility for how we feel about ourselves and start realizing our greatness. In doing that we should also uplift each other, I cannot fathom how we can wage war against ourselves and each other as well. To the amazing women in my life – thank you for always seeing my light even when I simply see it as a flickering flame. Thank you for being absolutely amazing and I doubt you would have made an impact in who I am if you yourselves were not phenomenal.

Happy Women’s Month.

With Love. 🙂
Stay Committed.


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Gay Pride & Bravado

I immediately lose respect for a man who makes it a point to bash homosexual men. What point are you really trying to make? Does it make you feel like a better man by slandering men that have been brave enough to stand in the cold and painful gust of society’s judgments and religion’s doctrine and admit that they are who they are and proud?

I am not gay nor am I man but I respect people who are honest enough to be what and who they are and stay true to that amidst even the toughest judgments. Speak to depressed patients, abused people, divorcees, people who have lost their jobs from speaking the truth or being gay! etc. Can we get Edward Snowden’s opinion on this actually? It really isn’t easy to stand by your truth in a world that’s highly superficial and judgmental.

And so I ask myself what gives us the right to decide what standards someone has to live their lives by when we struggle to maintain our own routines and values? If we are to get into a “religious debate” then please dedicate your life to one of celibacy, non-judgment, unconditional love and giving, Godly devotion and utter perfection before you give your opinion. If we are going to slander gay men because it is “a sin” then by all means let’s, but can this judgment be ruled by the purest person on this earth? The one who has not committed even one sin? It is ridiculous.

The reason why I am reprimanding men so much on this is that the most slander stems from men. It is funny how in search for their manhood and validation (men) will always blame the nearest transgressor to elevate themselves. It all goes back to the religious story of how Eve betrayed the entirety of humanity by offering the forbidden fruit to Adam as if he did not have the discretion and enough loyalty to decline and advise her to discard of it. Ridiculous! It’s not your fellow gay men, the so-called hoes or your nagging girlfriend that caused you to fall – it is you.

I have met gay men in my life and they have always been the most flamboyant yet most honest, caring, brave, ambitious and non-judgmental people. A few people have dubbed me a feminist which actually infuriates me greatly because I don’t subscribe to any religion or school of thought – I am a spiritual person who believes in God and the potential of each person as well as in freedom. Feminism is a theory and a religion – I am far too rebellious to belong to any theory/religion.

All I ask is that we refrain from labelling and judging people. I myself have been a victim of labels and I feel sorry for the people that are out there to bottle, can, label and market certain individuals in order to validate themselves as a stronger, wiser or even better breed.

Shift the focus to yourself and becoming your own better version and that will inspire others to become their better version too.

Halt. Its introspection Time again.

Have a phenomenal Sunday and great week ahead. Next month is international woman’s month. My focus will solely be on phenomenal females.

🙂

Stay Committed & I look forward to your opinions.


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The One’s That Birthed Us

There is always a stage in a female’s life where she clashes with her mother. Where one young female stands up to another much older female & demands to be released from her firm grasp; demands to be understood; demands to be heard. Its inevitable and for a fraction of our lives we see the woman that birthed us as a burden or a hindrance. Its sad (on the surface yes) but beneath that its just one of nature’s turbulences that help us grow.

My mother and I were practically bestfriends (with the occasional fight) for most of my young years. She adored me & I adored her. She provided for me & I returned the favour by excelling at everything I did. It wasn’t until I wanted to break free & pursue my inner passions like writing & art that a wedge began to form between us. I managed to keep the turbulence gentle enough to sustain our relationship till I started university & did Engineering. After my 2nd year I left what wasn’t really my dream. The turbulence got vicious & I was no longer her shining star.

Within all of this I would ask her why she was so hard on me even though I was very responsible (working and studying) and loved her to bits. Her answer was always the same & it still is to this day: “I am hard on you because I know your potential. I am hard on you because I know you can do so much & I want you to become someone I can be proud of.” These words baffled me until I moved from home a year ago & was 100% responsible for the path I am carving. I mentioned in my previous blog post that my mother knows me at my most organic state.

I know each of us has these struggles with our moms, of feeling misunderstood and judged sometimes. The pressure they put on us is simply pressure to transform us into diamonds. 🙂 yes! Sure, they may project their own dreams on us but that’s because they see themselves as well in the glimmer in our eyes. They are strong for us when we are young so we may grow up & be strong for them when they are old. This is a theory I have developed for myself.

It is very easy to terminate a pregnancy or abandon a new born child. Have you looked in the newspaper lately? It takes a numbing of the heart & turning one’s head away from selflessness and love to abandon a life. We should appreciate the women that chose to carry us, birth us, raise us and love us. We should love them with their flaws and appreciate ever sacrifice they have made.

And, to the ones that have lost their moms remember that like energy we are never really destroyed: we simply transformed from one state to another. Souls do live on & they can live within us, the space can be shared. The investments they have made in your life can never be erased & all around us we are surrounded by 2nd and 3rd moms, take heed of phenomenal females who can impart wisdom & love to you.

A gift from me to all females, moms, sisters, friends, moms-to-be: Get yourself a copy of “Women Who Run With The Wolves” by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés. She too, is an amazing spiritual mother with a wealth of wisdom & healing.

Happy Mother’s Day. You’re all phenomenal.

Stay Committed & have a great week.

🙂

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