Committing To Life

Committing, Celebrating and Growing through Life


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Words and Scars

A thought hit me the other day. I think it was a week ago. I thought about all the christians I had interacted with in my life and the non-christians I’d interacted with who flinched when I mentioned ‘church’. Their reasons were constant throughout, regardless of age, sex, race, they all gave me the same response: “I don’t like christians and I don’t like church because I don’t want to be judged.”

In the beginning I dismissed it as utter ignorance because I thought heck! The rules are there, just adhere to them. I had never been judged by a christian because I was too young. There is only so much that life revealed to me before I was, let’s say, at the age of 22. Which was only a year ago.

The purpose of this post is not to dissect the realities of church and human beings. That is a massive debate that I will not even stir up today. The purpose of my post relates to the thought that then hit me a week ago.

I thought to myself: the bible is truly poetic. Especially in the way it has depicted the ‘Enemy’. It is either too poetic or we as people are not interpreting it correctly. The “Enemy” ie. The Devil, is depicted as a monstrous and scary spirit (of which he is) but he is also small, non-intimidating and strategic in his moves. He is so slick in ways that we don’t even realize that he is as easy to breathe in and let out as oxygen.

As people we focus so much on depicting what is heinous and disgusting in another person that we forget that the mere act of judging is the enemy’s work.

If you have something bad to say about everyone and anyone then you need to press pause and do a routine check on your thoughts. If you don’t know someone’s story from birth to the present then don’t even utter an opinionated word. Words are powerful & most of the time we don’t even hold the rights to utter them in enormous weights. Speak words that build or don’t speak at all.

I have suffered from all sorts of insecurities in my younger years. From weight issues (even though I have never even been overweight in retrospect) to merely feeling like my nose was too big. My journey of moving from a young girl raised in a single-parent home with various struggles, to being a working young lady and student at 16 taught me a lot of resilience and the self-sufficiency it taught me showed me just how much strength and tenacity I had. It taught me to never bring people down because I know what being stuck in the grips of depression feels like.

But as I grew older, especially in the previous year I found myself being hurled at with the most atrocious words. From being mocked because I was raised by a single mom (so apparently that means I have male issues) to being told I am self-absorbed.

There were many times I wanted to take my own life but the thought of what it would do to my mother shattered me. The thought of how she took care of us even in the darkest hours before the dawn that never even came. I was extremely humbled by her love and strength. I still am – it brings me to tears. A lot of the decisions I have made have been centered on pleasing my mother. Not in the moment, but definitely in the future that I am building. But my tenacity and focus is simply translated as “overly ambitious” and “self-absorbed” to people that do not know my story.

The worst thing you could do as a man would be to compare a woman to another woman when each person ultimately bears different burdens and their own insecurities and fears. It is unmanly and it is disgusting.

I would rather bite my tongue and have my silence mistaken for sulking than utter words that break another human being. The devil does not reside in the knife, or the gun, or the killer’s heart, or the rapist, or the criminal, or the gay/lesbian, or the fornicator, or the drunkard. The devil resides comfortably in our thoughts and our tongues.

The process of healing from words is a hard and necessary process. Before you say something think about what scars it will leave on another person’s soul. And, before you accept someone’s judgment as “your truth”, go back to your purpose and journey and re-commit to your life.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK AND BEYOND: Do a routine check on your thoughts and understand before you speak. Love yourself enough to care about the world your life is immersed in.

QUOTE: “Be kind to yourself and others. Come from love every moment you can.” – Chopra Foundation

Stay Committed.
🙂


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TALK IS CHEAP

One of my friends had me stop dead in my tracks a few days ago. Basically she commented on how strong I am and how I seem to have no faults. I couldn’t stop the stinging in my eyes and surely, the tears welled up and I started sobbing. Again. And I say “again” because somehow this period of weakness crawled through my strong character and unmovable, undefeatable disposition and found my fragile point, then, rested upon it for days. So there I was picking at my faults and questioning my existence, brushing my successes aside and dissecting my failures. Yes I see the good but what about the bad? It’s quite true, we are our own worst enemies and harshest critics. And ofcourse, how we view ourselves will always affect how we force other people to see us. Yes they may have their personal views but we will pluck out their eyes, delete their opinion and insert our own insecurities in their minds and yes force them, to see us through our own eyes. Crazy! But we do it.

So within my wallowing in self pity I asked myself then where this person was that people see and how come she only appears to me in those special moments when the moon is shining just right and is aligned perfectly with my star? The wisdom we preach; the opinions and teachings we share; the seeds we fortify and refreshing water we sprinkle on whithering sprouts: How come we cannot remedy ourselves and be our own teachers? I questioned myself. Why do I say but never do? Hope but never step out in that faith? The simple answer would be that I may be honest with the world but I am never honest with myself. We can never build others until we reinforce ourselves with the same concrete and steel rods that we so happily supply.

Talk is cheap. It builds a weak life not worthy of any breath. The challenge here then is that we know what’s right, we know what’s best for us and everyone around us; We know which path to take but we think speaking about it will suffice. The challenge then is to take action. To stop talking and just do, to stop dreaming and just be.

As seedlings that sprout and start to grow rootlets that anchor themselves in the ground, lets make sure that we are anchoring in the right place and that as we share our sun with our neighbour/s we musn’t forget to pursue our own photoynthesis.

Talk is cheap. It’s time to do. Make your breaths worth taking.

Stay committed 🙂