Committing To Life

Committing, Celebrating and Growing through Life


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The One’s That Birthed Us

There is always a stage in a female’s life where she clashes with her mother. Where one young female stands up to another much older female & demands to be released from her firm grasp; demands to be understood; demands to be heard. Its inevitable and for a fraction of our lives we see the woman that birthed us as a burden or a hindrance. Its sad (on the surface yes) but beneath that its just one of nature’s turbulences that help us grow.

My mother and I were practically bestfriends (with the occasional fight) for most of my young years. She adored me & I adored her. She provided for me & I returned the favour by excelling at everything I did. It wasn’t until I wanted to break free & pursue my inner passions like writing & art that a wedge began to form between us. I managed to keep the turbulence gentle enough to sustain our relationship till I started university & did Engineering. After my 2nd year I left what wasn’t really my dream. The turbulence got vicious & I was no longer her shining star.

Within all of this I would ask her why she was so hard on me even though I was very responsible (working and studying) and loved her to bits. Her answer was always the same & it still is to this day: “I am hard on you because I know your potential. I am hard on you because I know you can do so much & I want you to become someone I can be proud of.” These words baffled me until I moved from home a year ago & was 100% responsible for the path I am carving. I mentioned in my previous blog post that my mother knows me at my most organic state.

I know each of us has these struggles with our moms, of feeling misunderstood and judged sometimes. The pressure they put on us is simply pressure to transform us into diamonds. 🙂 yes! Sure, they may project their own dreams on us but that’s because they see themselves as well in the glimmer in our eyes. They are strong for us when we are young so we may grow up & be strong for them when they are old. This is a theory I have developed for myself.

It is very easy to terminate a pregnancy or abandon a new born child. Have you looked in the newspaper lately? It takes a numbing of the heart & turning one’s head away from selflessness and love to abandon a life. We should appreciate the women that chose to carry us, birth us, raise us and love us. We should love them with their flaws and appreciate ever sacrifice they have made.

And, to the ones that have lost their moms remember that like energy we are never really destroyed: we simply transformed from one state to another. Souls do live on & they can live within us, the space can be shared. The investments they have made in your life can never be erased & all around us we are surrounded by 2nd and 3rd moms, take heed of phenomenal females who can impart wisdom & love to you.

A gift from me to all females, moms, sisters, friends, moms-to-be: Get yourself a copy of “Women Who Run With The Wolves” by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés. She too, is an amazing spiritual mother with a wealth of wisdom & healing.

Happy Mother’s Day. You’re all phenomenal.

Stay Committed & have a great week.

🙂

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.


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Frayed Brushes & Distorted Portraits

My mother said to me: “Since when do you care about other people? You used to be so determined and driven to achieve what you want, what the next person thought didn’t matter. When did you change?”

It felt as if she was talking about someone else because she shocked me so much I couldn’t quite relate what she said to who I am. Being a thinker and a writer it tortured my mind to its depths because it baffled me how my strength had sneaked out & left remnants of fear & weakness.

We can’t attribute it to growth because growth finds seeds within us that need to be nurtured and grows them. Growth taps into our potential and harnesses it, sculpting it to what it is meant to be. Growth prunes the shoots that aren’t growing right and allows them to re-grow and take shape correctly. So no, its not growth that completely overturns our character; growth enhances and refines, it doesn’t completely change and create something different.

We change when we are afraid of our own strength. We change when we intimidate others. We relinquish our inner power when we are painted with the wrong brush and take on the strokes and bad paint to become what others think of us. We shake off the determination when we look back at the ditch of failure it ‘mistakenly’ led us to. ‘Mistakenly’ being a misnomer because failure is always there simply to re-direct us and build us. It is never a mistake.

I always ask young people, when we speak in-depth about our dreams, if the little girl/boy they were 10-15 years ago is proud of who they are right now? The dreams they had – did they relinquish any of them because they were apparently ‘absurd’? That fearless character they had – did it get warped by fear and failure?

The more I thought about it over the past two days the more it just made sense to me. My mother knows me at my most ‘organic’. Where I wasn’t tainted by the world or covered with everyone’s opinions and brush strokes. Because beneath the bad paint-work and frayed brushes I’ve been painted with, my true portrait remains the same.

The same remains true for each of us. Tap back into your ‘organic self’, relive your dreams and gain back that character you had because that is your true portrait. Life is one long journey of learning but it should never alter who we are. It should grow us and refine us.

Wipe away the brush strokes and accept those that have pruned you and refined you but let your true self shine through at its best potential.

Have an amazing week.

Life is amazing. Stay committed.
🙂

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.