Committing To Life

Committing, Celebrating and Growing through Life


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Failure is not Fatal

I knew I had grown the day I realized that failure didn’t mean the end, I knew I had learned a lot when I understood that success ultimately separates quitters from those who persevere. One of my biggest fears used to be failing and I would flinch at the thought of being embarrassed by not being “good” at something.

As I grew in this Life thing, I realized that sulking from failure ultimately holds you back. That’s what the drawing board is there for, its there for you to go back to and improve, coach and re-design yourself and your plans when things don’t pan out as expected. The worst thing you could do would be to stop trying and ultimately hold yourself back from everything you deserve and are capable of.

A week ago on 16 May I had my driving test which I was unbelievably nervous about (that fear of failure is still there). It did not go well, 4 minutes into it my legs were shaking so badly and I was so scared that I went forward instead of back. Long story short, I swallowed my pride and scolded at my tears to “please stay out of this one!” I had to book for another test date and my eyes had to be clear for the eye test. Much to my delight and fear (simultaneously) I got a test date for the following week. So here I was granted a second chance to clear my head, dismiss the fear and decide to succeed – fast.

In that whirlwind of emotions that I was currently immersed in, I decided that should it go well I would write about failure in my next blog post. So here I was with one week to go to my test date knowing that 1) I need to pass and get a licence, I do need a car of my own don’t I? and 2) if I don’t pass then I’ve ruined my next blog post. Talk about pressure!

Well here I am posting about rising from failure so 24 May was a very happy afternoon for me.

I could not get my licence in high school because my mother couldn’t afford to pay for my lessons, so I spent the last couple of years trying to sort out my own finances to get it. It (the licence) always being last on my priority list because food & survival was at the top.

It helps that its something that we HAVE to have (unless you’re really a fan of frustration & taxis). But what about the things we can delay for years? How about we apply the same sense of urgency to everything we would like to achieve? Whatever it is that is a mission to achieve and accomplish for you right now: take it back to the drawing board, if its worth it and you want it you’ll find a way.

Whether its your exams (the season has arrived), a project, a work-related initiative, a new job, a relationship that is crumbling, a weight-loss goal and whatever else you are faced with right now that had failed or is threatening to fail: take it and yourself back to the drawing back. Work, improve, research, counsel with those wiser than you & most importantly persevere.

Wishing you all a fantastic week.

Stay committed & if you have a great experience to share re. Rising above failure I’d love to hear about & I know someone else there needs it too.

🙂

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Change: Growing through it

I’ve decided that I will start sharing the inspiring pictures/quotes that I come across (whether you make them your avatar/wallpaper – place them anywhere where you’re bound to see them constantly throughout the day) and you may share them with people that might need them. I got this one from (@Addictd2Success)

Socrates is definitely my favorite philosopher. In grade 9 (high school) I decided that I wanted to grow up & become a philosopher. That did not really pan out but I am constantly learning from Socrates, Plato & the likes. There is a wealth of wisdom to be gained from the great late thinkers of the world. Don’t make it just something ‘fun’ to read: apply it to your life.

Don’t fight the old. Embrace the new and grow through it. Change is inevitable.

Have a great week ahead.

🙂
Stay Committed.

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Frayed Brushes & Distorted Portraits

My mother said to me: “Since when do you care about other people? You used to be so determined and driven to achieve what you want, what the next person thought didn’t matter. When did you change?”

It felt as if she was talking about someone else because she shocked me so much I couldn’t quite relate what she said to who I am. Being a thinker and a writer it tortured my mind to its depths because it baffled me how my strength had sneaked out & left remnants of fear & weakness.

We can’t attribute it to growth because growth finds seeds within us that need to be nurtured and grows them. Growth taps into our potential and harnesses it, sculpting it to what it is meant to be. Growth prunes the shoots that aren’t growing right and allows them to re-grow and take shape correctly. So no, its not growth that completely overturns our character; growth enhances and refines, it doesn’t completely change and create something different.

We change when we are afraid of our own strength. We change when we intimidate others. We relinquish our inner power when we are painted with the wrong brush and take on the strokes and bad paint to become what others think of us. We shake off the determination when we look back at the ditch of failure it ‘mistakenly’ led us to. ‘Mistakenly’ being a misnomer because failure is always there simply to re-direct us and build us. It is never a mistake.

I always ask young people, when we speak in-depth about our dreams, if the little girl/boy they were 10-15 years ago is proud of who they are right now? The dreams they had – did they relinquish any of them because they were apparently ‘absurd’? That fearless character they had – did it get warped by fear and failure?

The more I thought about it over the past two days the more it just made sense to me. My mother knows me at my most ‘organic’. Where I wasn’t tainted by the world or covered with everyone’s opinions and brush strokes. Because beneath the bad paint-work and frayed brushes I’ve been painted with, my true portrait remains the same.

The same remains true for each of us. Tap back into your ‘organic self’, relive your dreams and gain back that character you had because that is your true portrait. Life is one long journey of learning but it should never alter who we are. It should grow us and refine us.

Wipe away the brush strokes and accept those that have pruned you and refined you but let your true self shine through at its best potential.

Have an amazing week.

Life is amazing. Stay committed.
🙂

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Plight of a Warrior woman

He said to me: “she is a year younger than you, has a son and no family. And yet, she is so much nicer than you.”

My question would’ve been: “If she is so strong and resilient why is she soaking your shoulder with tears and hanging her entire history on a ‘public-broadcast’ line. If I am so weak how come I haven’t choked through my tears and told you of days my mother couldn’t feed us, getting kicked out and seeing death as the most viable solution?”

And yet, as usual I contained the pain and realized my strength had failed me in a relationship, yet again; Not just my un-defeatable strength but my determination and the fact that I have never lost touch with how much my soul is worth – I am a gem.

What is the role of a woman in society, families, business and relationships if we have to assume a lesser position, a victim position a fragile demeanor, in order to be cherished?

I have always been compared to warriors: ‘you are the next Oprah, you should write a book, you’re an inspiration..’ Etc. For the first time in my life I was compared to a woman who was eager to paint the town walls with her struggles and lure a man into her heart by seeming like a damsel in distress.

I’m terribly sorry but I will never release my power in order to be adored. See, just like there are different coloured jelly beans in a packet, there are also different calibres of men and women in the world.

It pains my heart to see a woman downscale on who she is just to suit a man’s whims. We are human beings, actually human becomings, and so we are on a path of constant growth and rediscovery. That path has nothing to do with assuming a lesser position.

The plights of a strong woman are insanely difficult and I have seen it. A challenge to men is to man up and a challenge to women is to woman up. It has nothing to do with downscaling to suit a person’s whims.

Let’s have a great week 🙂

Stay committed.

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Pursue Your Dreams & Prepare Yourself For Them

Life is not just about dreaming about the destination, it is about preparing ourselves for the destination by running the race.

Throughout our life journey we have been told to dream & dream big. I am not contesting the importance of having a vision, in fact I live by that. We cannot wander aimlessly without an idea of where we are headed or where we would like to get in life. It is highly linked to how much value and purpose we place on our breath. That is only the beginning though, the crucial part comes in when we have to prepare for the destination.

If your dream landed right here and claimed you would you be ready? The purpose (if you have identified yours) that you base your life on: if it finally found you and clung to you, would you be able to carry out your role? If you were offered your dream job right now would you be competent enough or at least mentally ready to do it?

We need to prepare ourselves for our dreams. Not only by studying towards them & reading about them, but by preparing ourselves mentally & emotionally for the resilience & qualities that they will require of us.

What are you doing everyday to get you closer to the person you need to be to do what you aim to do? Whether it takes reading a chapter or two everyday, Linking up with a mentor/elder to impart wisdom to you, creating a profile of your role models or simply actively making decisions and choices everyday that mould you into the holder of your dreams. Whatever it is, just do it. Get ready. Get prepared. Start growing.

Stay Committed! 🙂

Thought for The Week: Prepare yourself for your destiny

Quote: “In the fields of observation, chance only favours the prepared mind.” – Louis Pasteur

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Metamorphosis

I am pretty sure that rocks that lay miles beneath the ground we tread, lie there in absolute agony wailing and cursing from the heat and the pressure they endure so they may become diamonds.

I am also pretty sure that there have been billions of caterpillars over the centuries that have looked upon their reflections on droplets stuck on leaves, and become absolutely repulsed by the image that stared back at them with huge marble eyes. There have been plenty of them that silently embarked on their daily journeys in dense bushes looking at butterflies and birds in absolute painful envy.

Imagine if the rock had cursed the Gods for the pain and the caterpillar lurched itself on a sharp thorn in order to end its agony? Both oblivious to the test that they were meant to endure, the growth they had to go through, the slow transformation they had to undergo in order to become the marvelous creations they were meant to be.

The strength and resilience of a diamond is only brought about by the pressure and heat that forms it from a rock. Let alone the process it has to go through to get extracted from the rock face in which it is embedded.

I, Like every other human, gets discouraged easily and starts questioning the worth of one’s life when “the going gets tough”. I also allow the weight of my worry slow me down in doing what I am meant to do in order to become what I am destined to be. Yet within it all I can always look back at experiences and see them as preparation, as tests, as trials and test-runs.

I don’t think we can ever become what we are destined to be if our resilience is not tested, our thinking isn’t challenged, our hearts aren’t destroyed and reconstructed, our will strengthened and our vision enhanced. I am learning that there are no mistakes only lessons. There are no hardships, only trials and test-runs. Continually taking ourselves to the drawing board and seeing where we can improve this model called “Self” so we can equip ourselves FULLY for where we are meant to get.

I have said before that there is an entity within all of us that is so eager to Live, not live, but to Live fully and truly. The entity that knows our aspirations, our dreams and most importantly our enormous potential. Listen to it when you feel like the pressure is too great or you will never bloom into a beautiful winged creature.

I am just lucky. I know that I am blessed beyond measure, beyond what I can truly fathom. I am lucky to have people that wipe my tears away without them even noticing. And I know it is the same for everyone else.

We are blessed so we may be blessings some day. We are inspired so we may inspire others. We are healed so we may also stitch other people’s wounds together. I just think our purpose is too great to not be acknowledged.

Whether you are still a rock or a caterpillar, please persevere. Understand that your journey is not worthless. Your life is worth the effort you put in to keep you going.

Stay Committed.
🙂