Committing To Life

Committing, Celebrating and Growing through Life


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The One’s That Birthed Us

There is always a stage in a female’s life where she clashes with her mother. Where one young female stands up to another much older female & demands to be released from her firm grasp; demands to be understood; demands to be heard. Its inevitable and for a fraction of our lives we see the woman that birthed us as a burden or a hindrance. Its sad (on the surface yes) but beneath that its just one of nature’s turbulences that help us grow.

My mother and I were practically bestfriends (with the occasional fight) for most of my young years. She adored me & I adored her. She provided for me & I returned the favour by excelling at everything I did. It wasn’t until I wanted to break free & pursue my inner passions like writing & art that a wedge began to form between us. I managed to keep the turbulence gentle enough to sustain our relationship till I started university & did Engineering. After my 2nd year I left what wasn’t really my dream. The turbulence got vicious & I was no longer her shining star.

Within all of this I would ask her why she was so hard on me even though I was very responsible (working and studying) and loved her to bits. Her answer was always the same & it still is to this day: “I am hard on you because I know your potential. I am hard on you because I know you can do so much & I want you to become someone I can be proud of.” These words baffled me until I moved from home a year ago & was 100% responsible for the path I am carving. I mentioned in my previous blog post that my mother knows me at my most organic state.

I know each of us has these struggles with our moms, of feeling misunderstood and judged sometimes. The pressure they put on us is simply pressure to transform us into diamonds. 🙂 yes! Sure, they may project their own dreams on us but that’s because they see themselves as well in the glimmer in our eyes. They are strong for us when we are young so we may grow up & be strong for them when they are old. This is a theory I have developed for myself.

It is very easy to terminate a pregnancy or abandon a new born child. Have you looked in the newspaper lately? It takes a numbing of the heart & turning one’s head away from selflessness and love to abandon a life. We should appreciate the women that chose to carry us, birth us, raise us and love us. We should love them with their flaws and appreciate ever sacrifice they have made.

And, to the ones that have lost their moms remember that like energy we are never really destroyed: we simply transformed from one state to another. Souls do live on & they can live within us, the space can be shared. The investments they have made in your life can never be erased & all around us we are surrounded by 2nd and 3rd moms, take heed of phenomenal females who can impart wisdom & love to you.

A gift from me to all females, moms, sisters, friends, moms-to-be: Get yourself a copy of “Women Who Run With The Wolves” by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés. She too, is an amazing spiritual mother with a wealth of wisdom & healing.

Happy Mother’s Day. You’re all phenomenal.

Stay Committed & have a great week.

🙂

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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Plight of a Warrior woman

He said to me: “she is a year younger than you, has a son and no family. And yet, she is so much nicer than you.”

My question would’ve been: “If she is so strong and resilient why is she soaking your shoulder with tears and hanging her entire history on a ‘public-broadcast’ line. If I am so weak how come I haven’t choked through my tears and told you of days my mother couldn’t feed us, getting kicked out and seeing death as the most viable solution?”

And yet, as usual I contained the pain and realized my strength had failed me in a relationship, yet again; Not just my un-defeatable strength but my determination and the fact that I have never lost touch with how much my soul is worth – I am a gem.

What is the role of a woman in society, families, business and relationships if we have to assume a lesser position, a victim position a fragile demeanor, in order to be cherished?

I have always been compared to warriors: ‘you are the next Oprah, you should write a book, you’re an inspiration..’ Etc. For the first time in my life I was compared to a woman who was eager to paint the town walls with her struggles and lure a man into her heart by seeming like a damsel in distress.

I’m terribly sorry but I will never release my power in order to be adored. See, just like there are different coloured jelly beans in a packet, there are also different calibres of men and women in the world.

It pains my heart to see a woman downscale on who she is just to suit a man’s whims. We are human beings, actually human becomings, and so we are on a path of constant growth and rediscovery. That path has nothing to do with assuming a lesser position.

The plights of a strong woman are insanely difficult and I have seen it. A challenge to men is to man up and a challenge to women is to woman up. It has nothing to do with downscaling to suit a person’s whims.

Let’s have a great week 🙂

Stay committed.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.