Metamorphosis

I am pretty sure that rocks that lay miles beneath the ground we tread, lie there in absolute agony wailing and cursing from the heat and the pressure they endure so they may become diamonds.

I am also pretty sure that there have been billions of caterpillars over the centuries that have looked upon their reflections on droplets stuck on leaves, and become absolutely repulsed by the image that stared back at them with huge marble eyes. There have been plenty of them that silently embarked on their daily journeys in dense bushes looking at butterflies and birds in absolute painful envy.

Imagine if the rock had cursed the Gods for the pain and the caterpillar lurched itself on a sharp thorn in order to end its agony? Both oblivious to the test that they were meant to endure, the growth they had to go through, the slow transformation they had to undergo in order to become the marvelous creations they were meant to be.

The strength and resilience of a diamond is only brought about by the pressure and heat that forms it from a rock. Let alone the process it has to go through to get extracted from the rock face in which it is embedded.

I, Like every other human, gets discouraged easily and starts questioning the worth of one’s life when “the going gets tough”. I also allow the weight of my worry slow me down in doing what I am meant to do in order to become what I am destined to be. Yet within it all I can always look back at experiences and see them as preparation, as tests, as trials and test-runs.

I don’t think we can ever become what we are destined to be if our resilience is not tested, our thinking isn’t challenged, our hearts aren’t destroyed and reconstructed, our will strengthened and our vision enhanced. I am learning that there are no mistakes only lessons. There are no hardships, only trials and test-runs. Continually taking ourselves to the drawing board and seeing where we can improve this model called “Self” so we can equip ourselves FULLY for where we are meant to get.

I have said before that there is an entity within all of us that is so eager to Live, not live, but to Live fully and truly. The entity that knows our aspirations, our dreams and most importantly our enormous potential. Listen to it when you feel like the pressure is too great or you will never bloom into a beautiful winged creature.

I am just lucky. I know that I am blessed beyond measure, beyond what I can truly fathom. I am lucky to have people that wipe my tears away without them even noticing. And I know it is the same for everyone else.

We are blessed so we may be blessings some day. We are inspired so we may inspire others. We are healed so we may also stitch other people’s wounds together. I just think our purpose is too great to not be acknowledged.

Whether you are still a rock or a caterpillar, please persevere. Understand that your journey is not worthless. Your life is worth the effort you put in to keep you going.

Stay Committed.
🙂

Becoming that which we have killed.

 

I would never really notice when someone was giving their all. Honestly, I blind myself to self-sacrifices because I know how personal they can be, I know they come from a place more sacred than the mind, this place is the heart. I stay away from hearts (now) and I guard my own too. Secondly, I did not notice because quite frankly I don’t know when I received this lesson or these lessons but I grew up self-sufficient. At some point in my childhood my third eye opened and I saw what my naive normal eyes couldn’t see and that was that I am my own hero. Not to say that I am island, never. But, that I am my first source of strength and the well I quench from is the Divine one and never a companion or a person.

 

Truth is we all face some sort of struggles as we grow, whether it is personal demons that we fight in order to improve ourselves  as or it is external hurdles that we constantly have to leap over. But there is one thing that I have recently learned:

We may fight our demons, sleigh those dragons and rise from all kinds of desperation and pain but if we do not acknowledge and forgive that which has harmed us it will always become who we are later on. We will become that which we have killed. If you look into the mirror with honest eyes you will see the faint reflection of your enemy staring back. A part of you now ofcourse because you invited him in, you let him stay because you were not strong enough to look him in the eye and say “goodbye & go well, I forgive you”.

These last words, most of the time unspoken but felt, thought, affirmed, are so important. Listen, it is not enough to forgive and release people alone, we also have to forgive ourselves. I know it is hard to forgive ourselves for the pain we have endured but if life was that predictable and we could avoid every stumble we would never learn. You do not have that much control over what befalls you daily, some lessons simply find us, and as we know if we have faith in what is Divine and good it all works out for the greater good of ourselves in the end. Forgive yourself first.

I have walked around with lumps in my throat for a while, forgiven everyone and every rock that I knocked my toe against except the woman who needs it most and that is myself. I asked for strength and I recieved it, but as a woman I have said that our strength is different, we do not show strength with as much command and aggression as males but rather it is silent, unspoken and gently walks into the room. Felt, but never commanding.

My wish is more for us as woman to heal in a way that not only strengthens us but also grants us our gentle nature back. I only understood this when I spoke to a mature friend of mine who had been raped and the maturity, calm and contentment with which she spoke about her rape humbled me so greatly. I searched her eyes for the reflection of the man that stripped her of her innocence but he was no where to be seen. She had forgiven, released and had been granted her gentleness back.

I am not a sexist. I will always believe in the empowerment of women but I also believe in respecting our fairer sex and understanding that we need eachother and the one can never take on the other’s role.

THOUGHT: That we may regain our strength but our gentleness too, woman.

QUOTE: “To be strong does not mean to sprout muscles and flex. It means meeting one’s own numinosity without fleeing, actively living with the wild nature in one’s own way. It means to be able to learn, to be able to stand what we know. It means to stand and live”- Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estës (Author of Women Who Run With The Wolves – A must read please 🙂

Stay committed. 🙂

A Decision to Heal

I just think that perhaps we should not be seeking to find “better” but we should be releasing, healing and rebuilding our faith in people.

There are breakups and then there are BREAKUPS, there are betrayals and then there are BETRAYALS, etc. We have all been hurt, disappointed, confused, perplexed at how people can treat us in a way that is completely unrelated to the royal treatment that they spoke of. There are disappointments that simply whisp by and we live and there are disappointments that leave people shattered on icy, foreign, lonely ground. The hardest thing is then to stand up again with a renewed mind and spirit and hope again.

What does it take though? Does it take time? It is said that time heals all but I beg to differ. A decision to heal, heals all. Heartless you say? No, it is not a heartless thought because if time heals all then we could all lock ourselves up in a room and wait for the clock to tick away all our misery. Healing comes from a decision and from that decision, action is birthed and actively, we make choices to feel better every day. If time healed all then people would not breakdown after years of sweeping misery under the carpet and pretending that life goes on.

Life goes on but it won’t drag you along with it. Life goes on with or without us, so we once again have to decide to go on with life. We all know this, to be honest. But as fragile human becomings we wish that somehow life will just carry us with it and hack away at all the weeds and thorns that would’ve hurt us. If only it were so.

Responsibility. We are responsible for our thoughts, our feelings, our fears, our beliefs, our aspirations and everything else that influences are present disposition and decisions. The world won’t always sing just because we want it to. This is where resilience steps in and we have to continue regardless.

Exes and Why’s. Put the pencil down,Rip the paper apart, discard of it and realise that life does not entertain pitiful games. Show me one person who has triumphed by complaining and succeeded by constantly having excuses.

Am i wise? Do i birth these epiphanies out of my own intelligence and strength? I will happily say “no” and I am glad that I don’t because it makes life that more worthy of living. It makes having someone who believes in you even at your weakest and bruised that much more comforting. It makes healing more probable. Healing has a beautiful side, that side when when the wound has healed, scabbed and the scar is silently fading away. I’ll be writing about this side soon. But for now, there are harder and more pressing issues to ponder about with regards to Life.

Commit to Your Life.
🙂